


tossing pennies in a pool (it would've been you)

by godmode



Series: (passed down like folk songs) [1]
Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Gen, i had so many feelings after listening to folklore and nowhere to put them, lapslock, so i'm here to terrorize u all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godmode/pseuds/godmode
Summary: 7 years is too long of a time to waste and the clock waits for no one.(but joohyun’s selfish, and she wants and wants and wants and wants.)
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi
Series: (passed down like folk songs) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847173
Comments: 16
Kudos: 71





	tossing pennies in a pool (it would've been you)

**Author's Note:**

> i am not responsible for the things i make under the influence of folklore (2020) by taylor swift

seulgi leaves first.

okay, maybe she doesn’t, and maybe joohyun’s just too dramatic for her own good sometimes.

but when they pass their newly signed contract papers to their manager and get up to celebrate/commiserate/not think about it at the restaurant down the street, as they’ve always done, seulgi’s promise to catch up with them feels something like betrayal anyways.

the other girls shrug and playfully warn that there may be nothing left for her by the time she gets there, and head out first. joohyun hesitates to follow, but is ushered out of the room by seulgi’s eye smile and her whisper of, “go on, i’ll be right behind.”

and she is.

she skips up to them not even 10 minutes later and tells them the details of her solo contract through a mouthful of rice cake, to which seungwan nudges her shoulder and tells her, not unkindly, to swallow before she speaks. she smiles sheepishly, swallows, and,

“yeah, with our next comeback coming soon, it’ll obviously be awhile until we start working on my official debut. still, i’m excited! i’ve already started putting together vision boards, we’re thinking of something a little more stripped back for this first album?” she trails off a little at the end, looking around at everyone with eyes that are more than a little apologetic.

yerim nods thoughtfully and goes, “this means you’re getting double the income now, right? i’m going to charge interest on that bite of my tteokbokki you just had.”

“yah!” seulgi yells, giving her a shove, and whatever tension that settled upon them just now—real or imagined? joohyun’s not quite sure anymore—dissipates into a fit of giggles. the girls all head back to the company arm in arm, and again joohyun trails a little behind them. she watches them trip over each others’ feet, laughter and shrieks tickling the air, and she feels guilty, somehow.

comeback promotions go well. great, even—public attention has never been higher and they sweep the music show awards easily. their tongues twist with endless thank you speeches and every new day promises a new layer of foundation to cover up the dark circles they’re convinced have become tattoos.

still, when night falls they all gather around a crosslegged seungwan and listen to her read critic reviews of the new album. joohyun’s always loved her voice but something about the way pride spills from her chest and out her lips as she reads lines like, "as expected of south korea’s representative girl group, red velvet," makes this her favorite song yet.

joohyun looks around at the faces around her, flushed with more than just excitement, wraps arms around sooyoung when she sees her inconspicuously wipe at her eyes, and thinks of coins in fountains and wishes upon stars.

she thinks, _this could be—no, this is enough_.

they’re given a break after promotions end, an extended one this time, which feels like christmas come early until joohyun stops in front of seulgi’s bedroom door with a DVD in hand and remembers—right. it’s 8pm and she’s at the recording studio, or maybe dance practice, or maybe one of the cold, sterile meeting rooms at the company.

she heads back to her bedroom empty-handed and picks up the stack of movie scripts lying on her desk instead. she thumbs through it, not really absorbing the words on the page (it’s okay, it’s just some mindless rom-com that she thinks she’s outgrown anyways). her mind wanders, which, objectively, is a bad idea: her mind is a minefield of rumination and she’s never quite learned how to read the map.

if she really thinks about it, nothing’s changed, not really. seulgi of red velvet still gives it her all on stage and skillfully redirects interviewers asking about her solo work into a conversation about the group instead. kang seulgi still chews with her mouth open and falls asleep with the needle of her record player spinning circles through the night. just because she sees less of both of them now doesn’t mean that they aren’t still there.

it’s not like this was unexpected, either—seulgi had asked for everyone’s permission long before contract renewals came, and repeatedly so. they had all supported her then; how could they not? it could be fun, too, getting to know this new seulgi, seulgi standing tall on her own. on the stage, under the name red velvet, may be where they all come together, but deep down inside, they know that each of them is meant for something greater than this, than endless short skirts and restless naps on the floor of waiting rooms.

7 years is too long of a time to waste and the clock waits for no one.

but, joohyun’s selfish and she’ll be the first to admit it. she’s attached to the idea of her and seulgi against the world, has been since the days of bikes by the river and twin-sized mattresses, and she’s not willing to let that go so easily. the subunit, irene & seulgi, was supposed to be the beginning of forever—not a means to an end.

maybe it’s her fault, too. for always being the first to look away, for starting conversations she has no intention of finishing, for pulling away right before she touches fire. seulgi’s been patient with her, incredibly so, but when half of her life has been waiting there’s no one to blame but herself when seulgi eventually packs up and moves on.

just once, joohyun wishes she could be pragmatic like that, too.

she falls asleep on top of her scripts and startles awake when her door is pushed open. the hinges creak but the air is still, and she feels rather than hears seulgi holding her breath, waiting to see joohyun’s reaction.

there’s two paths she could take here.

one: she could blearily blink up at seulgi, tug on her hand, and ask her to stay. she will, of course. when seulgi tugs the blankets over both of their heads to block out the morning doves’ first calls, they’ll talk about it—whatever _it_ is. then maybe joohyun can feel like she can breathe again. they won’t answer all the questions in one morning, and maybe they never will, but maybe, too, they don’t have to put a name to something to make it real.

two: she could readjust her position (a futile act; she’ll wake up with killer neck pain regardless) and pretend to fall back asleep. she doesn’t have to open her eyes to know what seulgi’ll do next: she’ll gently pry the highlighter out of her grasp, dim her desk lamp and adjust it so it’s not shining in her eyes, and tuck a blanket around her shoulders. if she’s lucky, the last thing she feels before she drifts off again will be seulgi pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

joohyun’s selfish, but she’s also scared. maybe they’re the same.

so, with the unsatisfying swell of a false climax lurching in her stomach, she shifts in her seat and burrows her head more firmly into her arms. seulgi’s footsteps travel around the room, soft and light to avoid waking her, and her movements are equally as gentle as she drapes a blanket over joohyun’s shoulders. her fingers linger but the rest of her doesn’t follow, as though moving through half-forgotten muscle memory. joohyun hears a soft, “good night, joohyunnie,” before she pulls away completely.

(tomorrow, joohyun will drag yerimie out to lunch with her or maybe cajole seungwan into cooking, and launch herself into sooyoung’s bed and ask to read lines together. tomorrow, when she wakes, seulgi’s bed will have already been made hours before.)

(if she stops more frequently for lucky pennies on the streets or blows through all the dandelions at the park, no one brings it up.)

(but that’s for tomorrow.)

tonight, her bedroom door closes with a click.

* * *

 _i hit the ground running each night_  
 _i hit the sunday matineé_  
 _you know the greatest films of all time_  
 _were never made_  
— the 1, taylor swift

**Author's Note:**

> on twitter and tumblr as @abseulution, come say hi!


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